Why am I so overwhelmed ?

I’m on a diet of tears,

My tears have become food,

Day and night my tears keep falling.

I want these tears to stop,

I need these feelings to go away.

I need to quiet these voices in my head,

That say I am nothing.

And that I have nothing to offer,

I can’t take it anymore.

My soul is overwhelmed.

I need these people to go away,

These people who mock me saying,

Why are you being so dramatic?

And I cannot say for sure,

If the voices that I hear,

Are words from their mouth

Or if they’re words in my head,

But I can say for sure,

That I hear the voices.

The ones that tell me to give up.

I want to know why you have done this to me.

Why have you forgotten me?

Why must I wander around in grief, oppressed by own feelings?

The taunts in my head break my bones

I want it to end, I want to give in and break my own bones.

My safe place,

Why have you let me down?

Why am I walking around in tears, harassed by my own mind?

Why is my soul in distraught?

Why is my soul so depressed?

Why am I so overwhelmed?

It never used to be like this,

My heart is breaking and my soul tearing apart,

As I remember how it used to be,

How I sang for joy with desperate passion for you,

With you, I was an unstoppable force

But now, I can barely find myself,

I used to be a joyful soul,

But now, I want to take my own soul.

Oh, the lover of my soul,

I remember you and everything you are,

I remember you as my hope and my light,

I remember all the times you put a smile on my face,

And you said you will never let me go.

I remember what has been said about you,

How you are always providing, protecting and meeting needs.

How you provided manna, parted the red sea and turned water to wine.

As I remember your reputation,

I feel a wave of love wash over my soul

And then I hear you say something,

Slow down, you said.

Breathe in and breathe out,

I am still with you,

I will never leave you.

Rebuke the voices in your head,

Rebuke your adversary’s words,

And they will flee.

Come unto me with all that laboring,

And toiling,

And self-striving,

I still give rest.

I am still who I was in the beginning,

I still have the hairs on your head numbered,

I still know when one drops,

I am still he, who left the 99 to find the 1,

I will do everything and anything for you.

I just need you to believe in me and what I say.

I need you to trust me,

Trust me when I say,

What you’re going through will pass,

It’s all part of the journey and the process to manifestation.

Take courage my child, I am still here.

I hear you lover!

Oh I hear you!

I hear you loud and clear.

So I say to my soul,

Take courage,

Don’t be discouraged,

For though, weeping may last for a night,

But joy comes in the morning.

I believe what the lover of my soul says,

I believe every word that proceeds out of his mouth.

I believe he will keep his promise of rest,

For my lover is not a man that he should lie.

My lover is the alpha and the omega,

My lover is the one, who sits in the heavens and makes the earth his footstool,

My lover is the one who makes all things possible!

My soul sings praises,

And I find strength in his Joy,

As I hold on to the hope,

That he never fails,

My situations no longer hold me captive,

Even when his love seems blurry because of my tears and fears,

I fix my gaze on my lover,

For I am always reminded,

That he never fails.

Dedicated to the downcast soul, and the depressed heart.

You are loved and you are valued by the one who made you❤️

Muse: Psalm 42

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