Dear God, everything has changed now…
Everytime I write, I remember Feranmi. The way his eyes, coldly stared at me. Empty. It was a shocker. Feranmi was fine; he was healthy even though He had the sickle cell thing. He was healthy. First time he told his mother I had agreed to marry him she had this so-there-are-still-people-like-you face on. She had this anxiety mixed with excitement mixed with shock. She didn’t know I had my own cross too. Well, I didn’t mind marrying a sickler like feranmi. Even if I was AS I still would have considered it, thankfully I wasn’t. Feranmi was heaven on earth. He was an angel. There was something about him and every day I wonder what he did wrong to offend you. His body was weak because of his health but he had a beautiful soul.
All the numerous people I fornicated with, the one guy that was ready, that saw all my flaws and still wanted me. He knew I have HIV but he didn’t mind. Well, Had. I really don’t know how I got it but Uncle Abdul has it too. I think I gave him though, because I don’t even know how many people I have slept with…
Feranmi didn’t tell his mum I had HIV, I took my ARVs at the right time so he said I was sure to have long life. I have never felt love my whole life I had all my hopes in him because he made me smile genuinely. I called him my guardian angel. But you took him away a night before the wedding. Food poisoning they claimed.
I felt so alone. Empty.
Well, not anymore. Not after this divine intervention. Nkechi always said there’s a boulevard of hope where dreams come through all I have to do is believe. I didn’t understand until you visited me in october, I had this terrible headache. I couldn’t do anything so I went to see my doctor and they did numerous tests for me. And for a reason I didn’t understand why she asked me to take another HIV test. And it turned out negative. I was dazed. So I went somewhere else. Same. I went to other hospitals. Same. I called Nkechi and screamed I BELIEVE! after the 5th test. Nkechi said after all these writing and pouring out my heart you will find a way to reach me, but this was the least of my expectations. Who gets cured of HIV??? Something I had since I was 23. I had heard of those stories on tv “I was blind, now I can see” “I was lame, now I can walk” I called them fallacies..
I no longer have questions. I have talked bad about you for too long when people have it way worse in this life and do not even get second chances. I have lived in darkness for too long for practically my whole life but still you fixed me. Dear God, I come to you today fully accepting that I am a sinner and hope that you receive me for I have sinned greatly. I have blasphemed greatly against you.
I was broken but you fixed me. I want to live, talk, eat in this boulevard of hope.
I got a wrong perception of this religion because of the first person that introduced me to you, but I’ve met someone else that does it the right way and now I realize its really the message that matters not the carrier and I will not base my life decision on the mistakes of another person. I’ll pray for Uncle Abdul and all others that play church and have missed it along the way because now I know better.
I give in. I need you. I’m not ashamed to say I want to be a part of this gospel to reach out to broken people, broken souls, broken hearts like mine the way Nkechi reached out to me. I want to tell the world about you. I think I’ve finally caught your attention. Or maybe you finally caught mine. I give in. Suddenly I feel this peace nkechi talked about.
Dear God, Thank you for sending NKECHI.
TO ONE WHO HAS FAITH NO EXPLANATION IS NECESSARY, TO ONE WITHOUT FAITH, NO EXPLANATION IS POSSIBLE.
DESTRUCTION AND MISERY ARE IN THEIR WAYS AND THE WAY OF PEACE HAVE THEY NOT KWOWN. GO YE THEREFORE AND TEACH ALL NATIONS, THERE ARE SO MANY BROKEN SOULS AROUND YOU, YOUR NEIGHBOURS, YOUR SCHOOL, AT WORK, EVEN IN YOUR FAMILY. BE AN NKECHI TO A FUNMI TODAY.
JESUS SAID “I AM THE TRUE VINE AND MY FATHER IS THE HUSBANDMAN, EVERY BRANCH IN ME THAT BEARETH NOT FRUIT HE TAKETH AWAY: AND EVEY BRANCH THAT BEARETH FRUIT, HE PURGETH IT THAT IT MAY BRING FORTH MORE FRUIT… YE HAVE NOT CHOSEN ME, BUT I HAVE CHOSEN YOU, AND ORDAINED YOU, THAT YE SHOULD GO AND BRING FORTH FRUIT AND THAT YOUR FRUIT SHOULD REMAIN: THAT WHATSOEVER YE SHALL ASK OF THE FATHER IN MY NAME HE MAY GIVE IT TO YOU”
CHEERS TO A FRUITFUL 2016!
THIS IS A 3 PART STORY. IN CASE YOU MISSED THE PREVIOUS PARTS KINDLY SCROLL DOWN TO LAST 2 POSTS.
THIS IS PURELY FICTION.